Memories too Important to Lose
by RyanTyler2294
Summary: There are somethings worth dying for.


Memories are Too Important to Lose - KiKasa

Kise wasn't really sure of how he should be feeling right now. He could only stare at the doctor in shock as he explained the situation. Everything now fell into his hands as to whether or not he was making the right decision for Kasamatsu. And despite feeling like he knew the answer, he just couldn't say it with confidence.

"So far the surgery has show great results. Most people recover with full function of the body." The doctor explained.

"What about his memory."

"Well that depends on if you want us to transplant part or regrow the whole thing, but transplanting small pieces are riskier."

"How so?"

"His body might reject them and considering that we're talking about the brain, we don't want to risk it. However, the full transplants have been more than successful. People recover in six months to a year and are back to full motor skills and idea processing."

"Can I talk to him before I make my decision?" Kise asked.

"Sure. Take your time."

The illness that was attacking Kasamatsu's body had caused a lot of damage to the brain. He couldn't see or move as well as he used to, and his hearing was starting to go. He was barely past thirty and was already deteriorating at a rapid rate. It was because of this condition, that he was deemed unfit to make a proper judgement when it came to his own health.

It left everything in Kise's hands.

When he went into Yukio's room he was sitting up in bed. He seemed to be more alert today. He smiled when Kise came in and asked where he had been. He was upbeat despite the situation at hand.

Kise wanted to cry.

"I was just talking to the doctor and they gave me a few choices."

"I don't want to talk about that right now." Kasamatsu said motioning for Kise to come closer.

"Yukio." Kise sighed doing what was asked of him.

"You said you had another photo book coming out soon?"

"It won't print until tomorrow."

"You'll make sure to bring it down so I can see it, right?"

"Yeah, I will." Kise promised. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Kind of." Kasamatsu said. "Today's a good day."

"Did you go for a walk today?"

"Kind of. I made it down the hallway before I got tired, but I made it back on my own without the wheelchair!" He sounded so proud of himself.

"They want me to model in France next week, but I told them I'm not going until you're better." Kise grasped his lovers hand tightly. Kasamatsu gave a squeeze in reassurance.

"What did the doctor say?"

"They said that they could transplant your brain. It would restore all function and you would live. I asked about just transplanting parts of it when they said they could grow a brain but they said there is more of a chance of your body rejecting it."

"Transplanting…all of it. What about my memories…?"

"They probably won't transfer over even if they try to exactly regrow your brain."

"What about muscle functions, everything I've learned and done over the past few years?"

"I'm pretty sure you'll be able to relearn walking and talking, and other things like that." Kise explained. "I think it's the best option, but I wanted to talk to you before I make the decision. What do you want to do?"

"I don't want a transplant."

Kise had been expecting a long silence. He thought that Kasamatsu was going to take the time to think about the two options. He was more than ready to be there with him as he had to recover. He thought this was going to a trial in their relationship that would show that he meant in sickness or in health. He had no plans on leaving Kasamatsu, but Kasamatsu seemed to be ready to leave him.

"What?!"

"I don't want to transplant part of a brain, or the whole thing."

"Why not?"

"Why would I?"

"Because it's the only option you have. If you stay like this then you're going to…" He couldn't bring himself to say it. Since all of this had started, he'd been avoiding the word and the thought that Kasamatsu wasn't going to be here anymore. He just knew that they were going to find some way to beat this, and yet Kasamatsu was being so stubborn.

"Think about it a little bit more?" Kise pleaded.

Kasamatsu shook his head. His eyes were downcast to where Kise's were holding his hands tightly, giving them a small squeeze, begging for him to change his answer. He let out a sigh before speaking calmly.

"What's the point? I'll lose everything. Even if they grow a brain to transplant it won't be mine. I won't have memories, I'll just know what you've told me I've done. Everything that I've done, and struggled with, and accomplished will only seem like a story, and those are the thing that make me, me. I might as well become an empty shell. It's as if i died anyway and you raised another person in my body."

"Yukio…" Kasamatsu didn't have to look up to know Kise was crying at this point. The choked sobs next to him left him with a feeling of regret, yet he still couldn't find it in himself to go with any of those options.

"I rather die and remember who you are, than live on and forget you."

"Yukio." Kise's head had fallen into Kasamatsu's lap as he wept. His body shook and shuddered as he lovingly rubbed his back trying to comfort him. It was no use, because he, himself, was crying as well.

**Fin**

**Reviews are Always appreciated ^^**


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